Kyoya- How Do You Love Someone?
by Light8mare
Summary: (Not a romance! I promise!) All he's good at is pushing others away... Because it's all he's ever learned. When he's confronted by the truth, he is finally offered a chance to learn how to love his friends. But will he figure it out? Or is he too far gone already?
1. Chapter 1

_"Mommy never told me how to love. Daddy never taught me how to feel. Mommy never told me how to touch, daddy never showed me how to heal!" _-_ How Do You Love Someone_

* * *

Walking away again.

No. Not again. Last time he had been running.

Running away from them.

The time before had been the same, but before that he'd been running t_o someone._

Now he was walking, letting them choose to follow or to leave. Anyone else would have thought the other's choice obvious, but to Kyoya it could be different at any moment.

To kyoya, for whom answers were never repeated twice for a long as he could remember.

The heavy footsteps behind reassure him that the other's answer hadn't changed, and, rather than being comforted by this, it left him uneasy.

How much longer before these regular responses changed again?

-.-

He felt the rough hand shove him into his room and slam the door. He hesitates for just a second in the middle of his floor before tiptoeing into his closet. Mommy wasn't in the mood to see his face. She rarely was. Normally it was only when daddy was around that he could come out, as long as he was quiet. Mommy was always tired, or busy, or sick, or upset, so Kyoya couldn't even come out if he was just going to grab Mr. Fuzzy and run back.

So he sits quietly in his closet, rocking back and forth, until he hears daddy's car pull up.

The door opens very slowly, so not to make too much noise, and daddy's soft footsteps travel to his door. "Hey kyoya," he whispers.

Quiet. This was the quiet house.

Kyoya knew, because just once he had been to his friend's house full of screaming and crying and laughing from satoshi and his three little brothers. Satoshi had said all houses were like that, and satoshi was a whole year older (as he frequently reminded kyoya) and that meant he was smarter.

But when kyoya had tried to bring some of that colorful noise into his house, he had gotten very hurt and mommy made him swear never to speak to satoshi again. He had stuttered out that promise, and daddy had taught him to both never disobey mommy and to never break your promises, so he never uttered a sound to his friend again. Maybe satoshi had gotten angry and stopped being his friend, but at least mommy stopped hitting him every time she remembered how he disturbed the silence of the house. At least his ankle wasn't as swollen.

So neither him, nor daddy dared break mommy's quiet.

Kyoya softly rubs his nail across the door, letting daddy know he heard. He didn't feel like talking.

Daddy gets up and goes to where mommy is. Kyoya knows he'll slink around in the background till he knows how mommy wants him to act. Daddy was a good boy. He never made mommy angry. Not unless he tried to help kyoya. He had stopped trying though, so he didn't get hurt much anymore.

Kyoya couldn't figure out how to be good enough for mommy to see without getting mad, so he kept getting hurt. He wasn't very good at fixing hurts.

Daddy never taught him.

-.-


	2. chapter 2

_"Mommy never set a good example. Daddy never held Mommy's hand. Mommy found everything hard to handle. Daddy never stood up like a man!" - How Do You Love Someone_

* * *

"Shut up you moron!"

He delivers a swift kick to the other kid, causing him to fall. Kyoya lets him climb to his feet, lets him make it a fight by not dodging his punch. Not bothering to wipe the blood streaming down from his nose, kyoya hits back, letting his thoughts get lost in the heat of the fight.

Its a shame when the teacher breaks it up. "Kyoya, would you stop getting into fights?! This is the eighth time in five days!"

Kyoya grunts and spits crimson saliva on the ground, satisfied that he hadn't chipped a tooth this time.

"This really has to stop!" She continues. "I'm going to call your parents!"

Kyoya freezes, his cocky uncaring evaporating. "No! Don't! Please! Just, just gimme another chance!"

The teacher sighs. "I'm sorry Kyoya, but this really can't continue."

To his horror, she walks away. Fear folds itself into him at the thought of his consequences.

"Hey stupid! Did teach scare you?"

He turns and sees the smirk on the face of the kid he had just beaten up, and his temper blows up.

-.-

He doesn't even push the door open before it swings from his hand and long thin fingers yank him inside. "You ungrateful, worthless brat!"

Spittle flies in his face as she screams at him, and all he can do is stare, terrified, into her furious eyes. "I refuse to work all freaking day for you and your cowardly idiot father just to receive phone calls from school about you giving another student a concession!"

She shakes him violently, his head flipping back and forth like a ragdoll's, as she screams at him. "I DIDN'T ASK FOR A WORTHLESS MORON WHO WASTES MY HARD EARNED MONEY! I WORK ALL DAY AND NIGHT FOR YOUR BLASTED HAPPINESS AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! YOU SLOBBERING SLIMEY _LEACH!_"

Kyoya can do nothing but watch helplessly as she unleashes her rage.

* * *

_"I've walked alone, broken. Emotionally frozen. Getting along... Getting it wrong..." -HDYLS_

* * *

He stares at the ground bitterly, his eyes watering from the injuries his mother dealt upon him. _Why _was he so freaking weak?! Why did everything seem to hate him!? He clutches his arms tightly around him, trying to keep from breaking down. He had no friends, his parents wished he'd never been born, and pain, inside and out, was his constant companion.

_Why can't I just die? _he wonders in resignation.

A loud clatter of metal hitting the ground draws his attention away.

Leone.

Kyoya quickly picks it up and frantically checks it for damage. Finding nothing, he slides to the ground and holds the warm metal tightly. Even though he knew it was only warm from the time it spent in his pocket, he tries to convince himself that its alive and willingly warming his fingers in the chilly fall breeze.

Leone has been his companion for longer than the painful twisting of bad emotions inside him. It was the thing he nawed on as a baby, and his favorite toy even up past when he turn five and the house turned quiet. Past when his father had lost his job, the one he had enjoyed and earned enough money from, past when his mother had taken all those hard bad jobs and changed from the patient gentle mother he'd known into the demonized one he knew now. Past the time he was happy, all the way until his childish spirit broke and he focused on staying safe and cautious rather than playing silently in his closet.

When he'd reached second grade, that's when he noticed how angry he was.

Everything and everyone was a cause for rage. How dare they speak of their loving parents when his had to be reminded to feed him?! How dare that chirping bird and swaying tree break the silence he'd learned to keep?!

On one school trip to a creek in fourth grade, he'd lost it and beat the water, screaming for it to "just shut up!". Kyoya could still remember his classmates faces. Some scared. Some thought he was being funny and had giggled. Some looked annoyed that he was infringing on their time away from lessons. And he had hated them for existing.

It just got worse and worse through the years. Everyone stayed away from him and begun whispering rumors about him. A few purposely infuriated him and laughed as he screamed at them. At home, mom was becoming more and more stressed, and she hurt him worse and more. He simply followed her example, the only one he had had besides his "idiot father", who he now ignored.

He hated the world, and it hated him back. But nothing could ever hate him as much as he did himself, so he continued to hate and tangle his emotions until all he could feel was pain.

It was snowballing out of control.

He pulls his knees into his chest and clutches the bey harder, forcing indentions into his skin. _dying... Dying could make all of this stop. No one would grieve. There's nothing stopping me but me. It would be so easy..._

"Hey!"

He looks up, forcing the scowl back onto his face.

It was a boy with spikey brown hair. His eyes were a bright yellow with a calculating look brimming from them, and a small grin lit his face.

"Who the freak are you?" Kyoya growls halfheartedly. He didn't really care. He just wanted this odd boy to leave him to be miserable.

The boy's smile widens. "I'm Hideaki. Been watching you a lot Kyoya."

_So I've got a stalker. Great. _Kyoya rolls his eyes as Hideaki continues.

"I watched you get angry so many times, I knew you had to have a reason." Those yellow eyes seemed intent on prying. "Your not really angry. Your just sad."

Kyoya stiffens at those words and hopelessness washed over him. Of course he was sad! He wouldn't be sitting here considering killing himself if he wasn't! "What's your point?" He mumbles.

The boy kneels down and Kyoya finds himself level with the hypnotic yellow. Hideaki stretches out a hand.

"Would you like to be friends?"

* * *

**Dont worry. We're not done here. Our little stray lion still needs a reason to distrust people, so we'll give him one. **


End file.
